HE Said, “Carry On…Taking Class As”

LAST NIGHT I was sipping Heroin and talking to scantily clad Prussian girls about the economic…naahhhhh, I wasn’t, I was sipping brown liquid and talking to Mancunian girls so fully clad it was debatable they had human bodies at all…I bet they did though – big bodies, with sexy necks to support the many opinions in their heads. Mmm, Dreamy.

As I was talking to these, possibly, bulbous babes Cymande’s song Bra was snaking like a Grinch lap dance around my skull, “time has been lost in trying, we have been left outside, bla bla bla, but it’s alrighttttttttt we can still carry on.” With this funky funk flunking around my funk funk funk, I was in a dreamy state and had no interest in opinionising on…anything. I stood at the bar sipping, smiling, nodding while others opinionised on their own opinions.

I was slouching further into the bar as blissful as a dead dove, when the caustic tones of a Manc with an opinion drifted into my ears. After years of being alive I know when an opinion is worth listening to so I defunked and tuned into “radio someone else’s conversation comin’ at ya”. Here’s whattttt I heard…

Thing 1: Why are crack, heroin and other drugs so frowned upon? If you think about it, and I advice we both spend a couple of minutes thinking about this, we’re all living in a dream world. What’s one man’s reality needn’t be the next man’s. Isn’t everything we do about changing our perceptions?

Thing 2: Yeah, follow the thread man, follow the thread.

Thing 1: Well I try hard at work so people will give me respect and this’ll make me feel needed and happy. But is that any more real than some dude whacked off his face on class As?

Thing 2: Fuck no!! You’re getting respect because some androids have told you to do something in a certain way, and you’re not kicking up a stink.

Thing 1: We drink here because we feel comfortable. It’s a nice setting, we can be ourselves, and these are our people. But similarly a crack den is probably a palace when you’re high, and who’s to say otherwise?

Thing 2: (angrily) Yeah, man.

Thing 1: I guess the future of a smack head is an inevitable one. From the outside looking in that life offers little hope and we’re hard wired to hope for things, it’s what keeps us proper. I guess people need security and conformity. (sighs)

Thing 2: That’s deep and true, man. Deep and true.

Thing 3: “time has been lost in trying, we have been left outside, bla bla bla, but it’s alrighttttttttt we can still carry on.”

This conversation isn't accurate; in the initial stages I found defunking difficult. There was definitely some kind of profound drug conversation though. Definitely.