Drinking in China

The English drinking culture is legendary and renowned all over the world – mainly for ‘binge drinking’ which is a fallacy compared to Chinese drinking. The emphasis in China is not on how long you can last but more on how quickly you can get drunk. The Chinese drink constantly for two hours then stumble home, there’s very little time for conversation, and each drink is usually knocked back but never enjoyed.

In China, drinking is an honourable pursuit which has many rules that must be adhered to. For example, if a woman offers to drink with a man then the man must drink 3x more than her. If you respect a man show this by offering to chink the bottom of the respected man’s glass. If somebody says Gambi to you then it is a deep honour and a sign that you will be friends for a long time. If somebody says Gambi you must drink everything in your glass, if you don’t you risk dishonouring him/her greatly. If you can negotiate a meal without losing your head/falling over then you will be respected as a strong/powerful/wise man. These rules are touching but when you’re the only white boy at the table people offer their friendship far too often.

The other day I was having a few sherbets with a few good young men and women when the prospect of being a ‘respected foreigner’ reared its hideous forehead. After three large shots of 56% Brandy ‘in my honour’, individuals round the table started offering their own respect. This amounted to many beers and many more than anyone else. Of course, I gave no sign as to the extent of my drunkenness; on account of the fact that I’m a strong/powerful/wise man, but my eyes studied the floor harder than my feet ever could. 

I still felt I was expected to recant tales of glorious Blighty, or things I encountered in my day-to-day, but telling a story in China is a lengthy business. Here’s why story telling should be left for early hours – pre 5 o’clock.

Story Teller: A rather dashing chap came to…

Sunrise: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: …the office the other day. He was an…

Roy: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: awfully…

Cherry: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: He was an awfully fine dressed...

Pauline: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: He was awfully dressed, fine dress…

Tao: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: He was awfully…

Fred: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: He awfully was…

Yu: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: Chap?

Sandy: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: Dashing chap, he was…

Antony: Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller: You know? Oh, sod it… Gambiiiiiiii!!!

Story Teller hits the hard wooden floor, the room goes quiet before a small girl stands and in honour of the fallen story teller shouts Gambiiiiiiii!!!