I have this theory: EVERYONE wants to be in the pub drinking with pals when a crazy guy comes over, as he often does, spouting half truths about the world. You listen for 5 minutes whilst he rants and intermittently spits on the floor. Then you stop him mid-flow and proceed to tell him the wildest story ever told; naked bear fights, ping pong with a rat, tadpole clairvoyants, lonely baseball sex, crawling up a sheep’s anus – all good jumping off points. You hit him so hard with your crazy life that he’s the one who looks normal. He straightens his tie, combs his ‘hair’ and walks out the door to begin his accountant (synonym for boring) life.
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Game Idea Pitch
Note to whoever pitches this game: Pitch needs to be presented in fire proof/bomb proof dungaree farm apparel. Speak slowly and accentuate capped words for affect. Italics are actions you should make whilst talking.
“If you love animals like everyone else then this game is for YOU. I love animals because I’m like everyone else, but I also love action which animals know NOTHING about. YOU, point at largest guy in the room, how many chickens have you eaten today? Expect answer between 5 and 10, all it takes is one exploding chicken and your guts’ll be running for cover along with everyone else in this room. Raise hands, fireworks explode from either side of you, images of dead animals flash up on some big dude’s stomach. I give you...Call Of Farm Duties. Your mission: clear the cows from the yard. Weapons include – waiting till they fall asleep then ‘tipping’ them over. Exploding birds – which, after they get into the paddy field, have a 20 minute fuse, lambs which after being held upside down explode, and anything else you’d find in a normal farm.
“If you love animals like everyone else then this game is for YOU. I love animals because I’m like everyone else, but I also love action which animals know NOTHING about. YOU, point at largest guy in the room, how many chickens have you eaten today? Expect answer between 5 and 10, all it takes is one exploding chicken and your guts’ll be running for cover along with everyone else in this room. Raise hands, fireworks explode from either side of you, images of dead animals flash up on some big dude’s stomach. I give you...Call Of Farm Duties. Your mission: clear the cows from the yard. Weapons include – waiting till they fall asleep then ‘tipping’ them over. Exploding birds – which, after they get into the paddy field, have a 20 minute fuse, lambs which after being held upside down explode, and anything else you’d find in a normal farm.
So, give me your cash money and watch as animals become NOT alive.
Take a lamb from your bag and hold it upside down.
Call Of Farm Duties – Buy NOW!!!!
If timed correctly the lamb should now explode, and you will have a room full of excited game execs.
 |
| Ammo, ready for carnage. |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)