The good and great of it is that most arseholes have a bit
of Hitler in them. It’s undeniable. So don’t deny it. You've often thought of
donning tash and goose stepping down the street like a profligate Turkey the
day after Christmas day. If you haven’t then you’re not into puerile shenanigans
and are doubtless an arsehole with leaning AH tendencies.
This isn't all bad. We need the closet Hitlers as much as we
need the whiter than an unsucked polo atop an angels head chaps. We need them
because TNOTW needs them, sport needs them, Hemingway needs them, the Church
needs them, etc, etc, and a billion more etcs. We need them because they
contrast with our brilliant and gloriously striving lives, they offer views
that are built on an underlying hatred and are therefore often irrational and
easy to discredit.
We need them because if there was one billion miniature
public Hilters then Godwin’s Law would be a more colourful one. Or at least we wouldn't have to keep referring to the mother of them all, that pantomime knicker nicker, mr AH. We could let him rest in pieces with his skull plastered,
and his heart missing when last he saw it in action which is never. The theory
that all online discussions eventually end up talking about Hitler is an
interesting one. It’s interesting because this theory forces people to think of
Blog topics which wouldn't elicit Hitler comparisons. Here are seven.
Godwin’s Law aside, how can you even tell who has a little
Hitler in em? Well, good reader, let me show you 5 clear attributes that the (not
quite) spawn of Hitler share.
1. They
all have a girl who loves them beyond reproach even though he’s clearly not
that into her – how can a heartless bead of cum juice love anyone? The woman follows
him around with adouring, compromising eyes offering her vagina upon his every
whim (he’s usually got a small whim, puerile, see?
2. They
usually educe strong love from their followers. Their followers are typically
people who have some need which they believe said arsehole can meet. Luis
Suarez is a prime example of this. He’s adored by Liverpool fans who forgive
him for being a foul racist with a pedant for lollypops because he’s a great
football player. They need him and turn and turn and turn and turn their blind
eye to his discretions. The rest of the footballing world HATES him.
3. They
are hated by those who only know OF them. Their deeds are unspeakable. A
logical man wouldn’t associate himself with such an ‘on paper’ unspeakable
arsehole.
4. They
are irrational hatred fuelled imbeciles who get angry when reason has not got
them what they want. They shout and call names and try to belittle. The only
person who gained anything from being little was Alice in Wonderland – and incidentally
a strong advocate of AH.
5. They
take themselves very seriously. They’ve never read The Torture Garden so they
haven’t got a clue that we’re basically moving lumps of nothingness who are at
the disposal of chance. Our advances, are not our own and are basically
meaningless – in a cage in the middle of Africa no man has the power to resist persistent
sexual assault. Murder is a word never used.
So there we have it. Hitler’s lackeys
are everywhere. Boot up and fly right, Jacque. As long as the good men and
women of this world are in the masses then we will out. One day the ants will
conquer the elephant. Buy you copy of The Torture Garden now.
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